Wedding Woes (A Valentine's Day Post)

My wedding day was one of the most memorable days of my life. It was beautiful. It was full of happiness and love and laughter and family... It was also chaotic. Most people say the same about theirs right? Maybe, but I mean... Mine was full on CHAOTIC! From the moment I woke up, everything went awry. Let me try my best to set the stage for you all:

Ok, so first of all, I think I should start off by admitting that I am THE biggest procrastinator you will ever meet in your life. I like to rationalize that I work best under pressure, but if I'm honest with myself, and you all... it's just an excuse to justify myself each time. So, in light of this gift of waiting until the last minute, I wrote my vows at approximately 3am the morning of my wedding. (I know...very risky!) When I woke up-- if I ever really went to sleep that night with all the fluttering in my stomach-- my house was filled with a bunch of loud Puerto Ricans trying to appear calm. (impossible!) With a mixture of fatigue and overwhelming excitement, I vowed that nothing would interrupt the joy I felt on this special day.

The smell of steak filled the house, and I knew that my dad was doing what he does best-- making breakfast! As I devoured those steak and eggs (no nerves could ever keep me from eating...ever), the background noise was the sound of my mom cursing my dad out because her egg yokes were overcooked... or something equally ridiculous. Now before I continue sharing the occurrences of this day, I feel like I need to prevent you from getting the wrong idea. (I also want to prevent an ass-whupping, as my mom reads my blog)

Disclaimer: My mom was the BEST support during the entire wedding planning process. She is a nurse, and so even under the most trying of situations, she is usually the most levelheaded person I know --until July 3, 2010-- when she became completely undone and transformed into the biggest psychopath ever. (sorry ma!)

Ok so to try and condense this, I'll list ONLY 5 crazy pre-wedding ceremony events:

1-- The Freakin' Favors: 

My mom & I made DIY party favors-- CDs with songs that Mike and I chose to describe our relationship since we both share a love for music. On the morning of the wedding, I decided to play one to set the mood while getting my hair done. Drum roll please....the CD was blank!!! We forgot to burn the playlist on almost half of the favors. Too late! I just laughed, and we ended up putting all of the CD's, both blank and finished, out on the table for guests and never said a thing. So if you're reading this, and you were one of our guests who ended up with a blank CD, at least the pictures on the front cover were nice! haha! (also, I still have a few extras if you'd like...4 years later)

2-- Hair Hell: 

My hairstylist couldn't get my hair to look the way she did during our trial run (something about my hair being TOO clean). My aunt became frustrated with her and cursed her out. Like full-on cursed her out. If I remember correctly, she said something along the lines of "F%&#ing get it together and do my niece's hair the way she wants it!" The poor woman looked like she was going to cry! I'll admit, I was beyond grateful for my aunt coming to my rescue though because no bride wants to walk down the aisle in a hairstyle she hates. 

(Thanks Titi! Most of my wedding wouldn't have gone as smoothly without you --or most of my life for that matter-- Remember the Bacardi in the water bottle incident when I was 15? You've always been my lifesaver! Haha)

3-- BFFs, Beaches & Blisters: 

My best friend decided to go to the beach and get sun poisoning days before my wedding. She was one of my bridesmaids, and ended up with a huge blister on her lip for the wedding photos. (Oh, Cosita!)

4-- Car Crisis: 

I chose a scenic location that was about a 2 hour drive from the concrete jungle. I have a hispanic family, so I prepared for latenesses by making the invitation time two hours before I actually intended on walking down the aisle. (I know, brilliant, right!?) I loved my venue! (the website just doesn't do it justice!) 

Well our wedding was on a Fourth of July weekend. There was traffic galore... and could you believe we got into a car accident?! As if that wasn't enough, my mom started cursing my dad out for the umpteenth time... when for once, it wasn't his fault (refer to the Disclaimer). My aunt was tired of the arguing --again, came to my defense-- & cursed both of my parents out while hysterically crying. My sister and I shared sideways glances and smirks throughout the ride. Everyone remained silent for the remainder of our travel, with the exception of the delightful sounds of one of my closest friends throwing up the whole two hours. I had to hold her hair back as she gagged her life away into a plastic bag.

5-- Subtle Squabbles: 

At the wedding, there were unspoken tensions between this person and that person... dirty looks flying from this side of the room to that side of the room... (Please tell me I'm not the only one with silly family drama? haha)

The list could go on for days.. We ended up with ZERO pictures with my grandmother and my Padrino, two of the most influential people in my life. I missed the Ice-Cream Bar that I was SO looking forward to. My flower girls sat through the ceremony eating the rose petals from their baskets (There's video proof of this). It was only the hottest day of the year, and I was sweating profusely under that dress.

I couldn't make these things up even if I wanted to!  

A real bridezilla would have flipped out.

I know that people often get the wrong idea about me... girlie-girl? high maintenance? materialistic? (Far from it!) Yes, I like nice stuff, but let's just say, I bought the first dress I tried on, picked the first venue I saw in the middle of nowhere, chose the first caterer we called, decided on the first bouquet my florist created, and ordered the first cake we tasted. I mean, who cares about those little details? I didn't... but everything came out BEAUTIFUL! (at least Mike and I thought so...and that's all that really matters) 

All the things that went wrong on our wedding day made it all the more memorable, and we have so much to look back and laugh at!

Amidst the chaos of my pre-wedding ceremony experiences, I had no time to be angry at the circumstances around me because I was too busy looking forward to marrying the love of my life. I was about to marry the man that passionately (& very PATIENTLY) pursued me. I was about to marry my best friend. When you live in love...with your heart set on something you are passionate about...with your eyes fixed on a prize...the storms of life around you don't manage to shake you. You stand firm and continue to experience joy through it all. Joy is not circumstantial. When you live with the expectation of experiencing love, the world can fall apart around you, and you will be okay throughout the process. Life has continued to throw it's curve balls, we have experienced multiple chaotic moments over the past 4 years, and yet nothing but good has resulted from each of these trying experiences. 

So today --on Valentine's Day-- I wanted to share my crazy wedding day experiences with you all-- to encourage you that if your life is upside-down right now, everything seems all wrong, and things aren't going as you expected it to... Don't let your circumstances steal your joy. Don't let the craziness happening around you make you crazy. Don't let the mishaps in life make you bitter. Please continue to live with the anticipation of love! You may have to walk down a long road of chaos, but when you finally arrive, you'll have so much to look back and laugh at!

Attitudes & Altitudes

"Your ATTITUDE determines your ALTITUDE." 

I teach High School students. Weekly, I post a quote on the board that my kids and I can reflect on for inspiration and encouragement. This particular quote has found itself on our dry erase board multiple times during the last two years. "Your attitude determines your altitude." It's a solid quote though, no? How high you go... how successful you are... how much you're able to overcome in life... is very much dependent on your attitude. It's dependent on how you express your thoughts, your emotions and your perspectives. The way you respond to challenges will distinguish the weak from the strong. Essentially, it's saying that if you think negatively and respond poorly to any given situation, it is pretty doubtful that you will make it far in life. However, if you take the punches life throws at you in stride, it will propel you into a hopeful future. 

Let's be real though. Sometimes those punches hit hard, and you're just about knocked out. Sometimes you're hit with a sucker punch --you know-- the ones you weren't expecting; the ones you weren't ready for. Sometimes temptations arise and things happen that you just weren't prepared to deal with the way you should have-- or the way you normally would have if you knew it were coming; if only you'd been prepared. That'll surely bring out some attitudes in you that are just too complicated to deal with appropriately.

I've needed a major attitude adjustment lately. During last week's trip up in the mountains of Colorado, I found that my ALTITUDE shifted my ATTITUDE. Being at an elevation of 10,000 ft helped me gain a fresh perspective in areas of my life that I may not have had the proper attitude about. My time away from the routine of my everyday life helped shift perspectives, revive dormant dreams, and refresh my faith. 

Are you struggling with an attitude that may limit you from growth? Take a moment to breathe. Take some time away if you can. Take a day for yourself and break out of your usual daily routines. Upon return, your situation may not change, but your attitude in the midst of it all may!

If you're an introvert...find some alone time. Read that book you've been meaning to read. Pray. If you're an extrovert, and are refreshed by having others around you...go out to eat with friends. Talk with someone who can speak life into you. 

Relax.    Reflect.    Refocus. 

...And watch how your attitude begins to shift!

...And watch how you begin to soar!

A "Goofy" Success

Have you ever just sucked really badly at something? I mean, you try your hardest but still can't seem to get it right? Me neither, I'm good at everything. (Kidding guys, kidding) Some people pay for lessons, but no training seems to improve their ability to sing, or dance, or cook. It's the most frustrating thing --isn't it?-- when you really attempt to accomplish something, and it just doesn't come easily. 

Two weeks ago, my cousins and I decided to snowboard for the very first time in the Poconos. At the end of our 90 minute lesson, we rode that magic carpet up the bunny slope and I found out that....I suck at snowboarding! I would like to consider myself the athletic type -- or at least, the daring type. I'll try anything once. The problem is, I am also extremely competitive. I'm not even content with competing against people, so much as I enjoy competing against myself. I like to do things well --and when I can't-- I will not relent until I get it right. That wasn't the case 2 weeks ago though. 

My first attempt down the slope, I fell and hurt my tailbone so badly, it left a bruise that lasted over a week. That didn't stop me. I rode my bruised behind right back up that slope with my cousins who seemed to breeze their way down the mountain with ease. My second attempt, I was fearful of landing on my backside again, so when I felt myself losing balance, I dove face forward-- scraping my nose, upper lip, and chin. (No I wasn't wearing snowboarding goggles) You think that would have kept me down? Absolutely NOT! On my third and final try, I fell backwards again and hit the back of my head so hard on what felt like ice. (No, I wasn't wearing a helmet either) That was it for me. I unstrapped my board and walked down the slope --frustrated and defeated-- and in a whole lot of pain!

It is now two weeks later, and I find myself in Colorado on a work trip trying again. My boss is an avid snowboarder. During our previous trips up to the mountains, I was unable to accompany him, as I was recovering from a fractured foot. This time, there was no excuse for me not to join him. How could I turn down the opportunity to glide (or fall) down the Rocky Mountains? So.. terrified, I strapped on those moon-boot looking things, secured my helmet, lowered my goggles, and joined a group of 4 others for another lesson. Turns out, I caught on really quickly after learning that I have what you call "a goofy" stance. (But of course) All that really means is that I ride with my right foot forward on the board, when commonly most people ride in the opposite stance direction. It's comparable to which hand you prefer to write with. If you are a righty, it is usually very difficult to write with your left hand well. So for two weeks I thought I sucked at snowboarding, and the reality was that although I was doing it "the right way", it wasn't the right way for me...

You may find yourself in a very similar position --frustrated and defeated...and maybe even in a lot of pain-- because no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to get it right. Now, I'm not talking about snowboarding anymore. Maybe you are struggling with an addiction or a habit. Maybe you have experienced a heartbreak, and refuse to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to love again. Maybe you are trying to be a better parent or spouse or student. Maybe you are trying to do things like everyone else who seems to be breezing through things that you are struggling with, and you keep stumbling backwards or falling on your face. You have two options-- 1) give up trying because hey, you've already tried so hard --or 2) get off your bruised behind and try again another way. Clearly, doing things the way you're doing them isn't producing any results. It may be uncomfortable at first, or may even seem "goofy", but how about attempting to do things differently? Be committed to make adjustments that will positively impact your life, no matter how difficult it feels at first. Albert Einstein said that "insanity is when you do something over and over again and expect different results." 

Not everything is going to come easily to you -- and maybe you have to make an extra effort to get things right. You are not like everyone else. You are uniquely created, with different quirks, talents and abilities. If you're able to properly equip yourself, pace yourself, and resolve to tackle any challenge with determination and tenacity -- it is more than likely that you will succeed. The question is, do you want to?