14 Things I Wish I'd Known Before 2014

2015 is quickly approaching, and I spent the day reading back on my journal for 2014. I must admit I cried to myself, and laughed at myself, while skimming through those pages. I realized that I learned more in these past 365 days about life, about love, about marriage, about people, and about myself than I have in my 27 years of life combined. I hope to one day share those lessons I've learned, but in the meantime....

In light of this day of reflection, I've decided to compile a completely RANDOM (and mostly silly) list of things in my life that I would have done differently this year, and years prior, if I knew then what I know now. 

1- I HATE STRAIGHT!

I HATED my curls when I was younger. My mother and sister have Asian straight hair, so no one at home knew how to tame my mane. I didn't know how to manage my beautiful mess either, so I would straighten my hair often to avoid all the tangles and the frizz. Regrettably, my  hair no longer curls from all the years of putting heat to it...& that has been one of my biggest regrets in life. When I look back at pictures, I always ask myself WHYYY?! People with curly hair want straight hair, and those with straight hair want curly! 

We always want what we don't have. The grass is greener on the other side? No! The grass is greener where you water it. Heed to my warning, you curly-haired babes: DON'T MESS UP YOUR CURLS! (These pics are over 10 years old...don't judge me)

2- Say yes to saying NO!

Sometimes I believe that I am Superwoman. I need to get over myself and my "I got this! I can handle this!" attitude... because I end up super burnt out sometimes. It's ok to say NO! Set boundaries in relationships-- parents, spouses, bosses, friends... it's ok to say "No" to them. Know how much you can handle, and allow yourself only that much. If you don't, all it will do is build up resentment towards others, when you only have yourself to blame for saying YES.  

3- STRAP IT UP!

Put a case on your iPhone. It may be cute and sleek and thin when you first get it, but it's NOT cute when your screen looks like spiderman zapped it.

4- LAUGH WITH THEM, NOT AT THEM!
Never make fun of the sound of someone's laughter. Just about everyone in my family has a ridiculously funny laugh. Both of my parent's laughter is loud and contagious. My sister's laugh, high pitched. Mine-- the silent belly laugh with an occasional knee-slap or the extremely loud, doofy laugh, depending on how funny things are. We would always make fun of each other's laugh, and I have seen how that can really inhibit someone. There are times where I find myself stifling a giggle to avoid awkward stares. My sister does the same. Someone's laughter is their expression of happiness and enjoyment. Laugh with people, not at them.

5- DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING!

Don't make fun of the way someone dances either! How about you mind your business, and grow the balls to get on the dance floor too! Too much? Sorry, not sorry. 

6- DON'T BE A PIG...

...in someone else's house. You can do what you want in your own house, but... I'll leave it at that.

7- VICTORIA'S SECRET WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!

You know how these cute, model-looking chicks walk around with no bra and it looks just fine? I figured my itty bitties could pull off that look too. Well if I'm honest with you all, it wasn't a look I was trying to pull off... I didn't put on a bra out of sheer laziness. I got up, threw on a sweater, and left my house. Let's just say, no one has ever mentioned to me that there's a such thing as nipple chaffing. Ladies-- we talk about our menstrual cycles and sex and men with each other, but never this!? Well it's a real thing y'all...& it's awful! To the melody of Alicia Keys... "My girls were on fiyaaaaaa. My girls were on fiyaaaaa-aaaa." After working for Victoria's Secret throughout college, I have JUST come to the realization that bras have been created for more reasons than holding them girls up and for your spouse's visual pleasure... What an uncomfortably painful lesson to learn in 2014. 

8- GIVE THINGS THAT YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE...

...like "Thank You's" and "I'm sorry's." 
Acknowledge people's efforts...& THANK THEM. 
Acknowledge your faults...& APOLOGIZE. 

9- DON'T EAT ICE CREAM EVERY MORNING FOR BREAKFAST!

Oh, normal people don't do that?? Well, I guess I'll say something that you may be able to relate to then... Don't eat crap all the time! You will gain weight eventually. Once you're above a certain age, whatever touches your lips eventually goes to your hips... especially if you're Puerto Rican! 

10- JUST DO IT!

I have a really bad habit of not using the bathroom when I have to go. I hate public bathrooms, so I will hold it until I get home or until I can't hold it any longer. (TMI? Oh well!) If you gotta go, GO!

11- STICKS & STONES BREAK BONES...& WORDS DO HURT!

I frequently have found myself in foot-in-the-mouth moments... so I do my best not to say anything at all sometimes. I guess it's a good thing that you almost always know what I am thinking, good or bad. I'm learning that it's all about the delivery. It's ok to say what you mean, just don't say it mean. 

12- MONEY MANAGEMENT!

Live like no one else does now, so you can live like no one else can later. Pay off your debt. Save your money. Be content with the possessions you've worked honestly for. Don't buy unnecessarily to impress people. Don't live above your means.

13- DO SOMETHING NEW!
You want to try a new do? Go for it! What's the worst thing that can happen? You end up hating it? It's hair--it'll grow back! Best case scenario? You'll love it!

14- PAMPER YOURSELF!

If you live in the hustle and bustle of the city life, you may not even realize how fast you're going until you slow down. Take a few hours every week to pamper yourself. Go to a spa. Get a massage. Too expensive? Get a manicure and/or pedicure. That too costly as well? (I know, the struggle is REAL sometimes!) Put on some Kenny G, light some candles, grab your favorite book, and take a nice, hot bubble bath. I'm not talking date night with your boo; I'm talking taking some time for YOU!

Happy New Year!

Why I Love You

When I woke up on the morning of October 22nd, 2004, 

my 16 year old self had NO idea that my life would forever be altered.

Ten years ago today, I met the Love of my Life-- Jesus.

Nine years ago today, I wrote this poem:

WHY I LOVE YOU
If someone asked me why I love You so much,

What would my response be?

I could try to preach or testify

of "What the Lord has done for me!"

I could tell how you came and saved me from drugs,
sex, alcohol, lies-- Made beauty from tragedy!

I could tell of your miracles; the wonders & signs,

How you physically healed me and set me free.

I could tell of Your joy and Your peace and Your love,

All that moved me to seek Your face.

I could tell of Your holiness, Your justice, Your word, 

How I received undeserved mercy and grace.

Yes Lord, I love You for all of Your promises;

For all You will do and all You've done.

& yes God, I'm grateful and eternally indebted

for Your love, for the Cross, for Your Son.

But my love for you is even greater still--

More than how You've changed me and brought me so far.

God, I love you because there's none more real in my life-

Lord, I just love You for who You are.

Scars Don't Hurt

As I reached down to grab my shoes, she released a freshly curled lock of hair from that wretched curling wand. My skin sizzled upon contact with the heat of that stupid metal device. I jumped back, cradling my arm, and did what anyone would do... I screamed!! It wasn't her fault. She didn't know I was going to bend down next to her. It wasn't my fault either. I didn't know she was going to extend her arm with that weapon. I couldn't sit there and play the blame game anyway. I had a task at hand. I had to make sure that this burn did the least amount of damage...so I ran to the bathroom and flushed it under cold water.

Over the last two weeks, I've diligently tended to my second degree burn. I've done everything possible to avoid infection. I've used an antibiotic cream to speed the healing process, and once the open wound fully closes, I will make sure to use vitamin E daily to avoid scarring.

I hate scars! I have barely visible ones on my knees from my tomboy days. I have a few scratch-like scars right above my upper lip from riding my tricycle down the stairs into my backyard, I have a small scar on my inner thigh from colliding with an oncoming bicyclist, and I have a scar on my abdomen from a surgical procedure to close a hernia. My mother is a nurse, and nursed these wounds diligently to where my scars are barely noticeable.

Scars are an obvious reminder to the world that you've been hurt. Although it marks the place you once experienced pain, SCARS DON'T HURT. You can toy with it all you want, think about it, touch it, and it will not be tender. 

It is 15 days later, and I am fully aware that my burn, although it looks much better, is not yet a scar...It is an open wound. During dinner last night, my mother, in the excitement of her storytelling, darted straight for the target with the tips of her fingers and smacked my shoulder about 4 or 5 times to get my attention. It wasn't on purpose. My family is just extremely expressive! Man, it left a lingering sting! This morning, I woke up to the wound itching beyond relief. I reached over to my night table, grabbed the Neosporin, and rubbed it on the wound to alleviate the itch. My burn is still an open wound, and I know that because I still feel the discomfort. 

As I massaged the cream on my arm in my half-awakened state, I began whining to God about my burn and how ugly it looks and how long it would take to close. It was the oddest thing to hear his response in the midst of my pity party. "You are taking the steps you need to take for it to heal properly. It will close soon enough, and it will no longer bother you."

I waited, anticipating more, knowing He was going somewhere with that. 

"You still have an open wound in your heart that you are not tending to though. Examine yourself. It's still irritated. You still feel discomfort. It still hurts. You need to take some steps towards healing that too. You need to forgive that person, and you need to forgive yourself."

Wait, what? 

Jeez.. don't you hate it when God calls you out on things? It means it's time to really deal with it! Apparently, I've taken some steps to avoid making the wound bigger, but I've done nothing to help it heal. I can't keep playing past scenarios in my head and expect it not to stir up emotions. I can't wait for an apology, and expect that I'll feel better only after one. My cousin apologizing for unintentionally burning me did not make my wound heal faster.

You want something to heal properly? You have to take some steps towards your healing too! Yes, God is the ultimate Healer. He takes joy in healing. If we are still cradling our hearts, like I did with my arm, we aren't giving Him the opportunity to begin the healing process. 

You can try and fool yourself that you're not still hurting, and that you're totally fine. Answer these questions honestly: When you think about the person who hurt you, does it still bother you? When you see that person, do you still feel uncomfortable around them? When you hear someone talking nice about them, does it irritate you? When you speak to them, do you find yourself feeling vulnerable or defensive or aggressive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it's likely you're in the same boat as me, and it's time to let go of the wound, deal with the pain, and find healing in His promises. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).

There's a step by step guide for how to deal with a burn... flush it with cold water, put antibiotic creams, avoid sun, etc. What are some of the steps you need to take to heal a wound in your heart? FORGIVE. Forgive the person... whether they hurt you intentionally or unintentionally... whether they asked for forgiveness or not! I heard it said once that not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness is not for them, it's for YOU! While you are at it, forgive yourself too. 

I've walked this road before. I've found healing after forgiving. I can think about certain people who have caused me immense pain, see them, and even speak to them without any feelings of discomfort, anger or pain. It's time to take the necessary steps to heal not just this burn on my arm, but the open wound in my heart. I can't wait to look back at the barely visible scar in it's place and thank God when it NO LONGER HURTS. 

LET IT GO!

So my blog is called Naked & Not Ashamed. What a title to live up to! How I would love to eventually get to the point where I can actually share all of the things that people are scared to talk about! It's not exactly what we are taught though. You're struggling with something?? Don't tell anyone! It will put you to shame if you do. It will put your family to shame. It will destroy you and your reputation. People will judge you. People will use it against you. Let's be real though, there's nothing new under the sun. More often than not, you are NOT the only one!

Yet despite how hard we try to conceal our pain, or our sin, and even our gifts, it almost always has a way of coming to light...even when you get away with hiding it for years. (like Queen Elsa from the movie 'Frozen', for instance)

I know what you're thinking-- WHAT?! I recently spent a week with a four year old girl who was insistent on watching Frozen every night before bed, every morning before school, listening to the soundtrack EVERY time we got into the car...on repeat. I now find myself singing "Let It Go" when I wake up, when I go to sleep, on my way to work, in my dreams... & here's the part I always sing:

"Couldn't keep it in-- Heaven knows I've tried.

Don't let them in, don't let them see.

Be the good girl you always have to be.

Conceal- don't feel, don't let them know!

Well now they know!

Let it Go!"

I'd like to think I am quite transparent. I'm usually okay with sharing my past struggles, especially with my students. I feel like people can relate more when you're vulnerable than when you put on a mask and pretend you're perfect... & I'm FAR from perfect. I have a BIG mouth, for one. I usually say exactly what I'm thinking without much of a filter or I say too much, which has gotten me into loads of trouble throughout my life. 

It is hard to be Naked & Not Ashamed and say what I want to say on a public forum though. It is hard for me because talking about my defining moments and personal experiences means sharing about other people as well. How do I become Naked & Not Ashamed without putting other people to shame? How do I talk about ME without talking about the people around me and how their lives have shaped mine? I guess eventually I'll get there... with wisdom, of course.

For now I want to encourage you to find the people in your life that you can confess to & work through your struggles with before it comes to light on its own. We can hide all we like, but when things do come to light-- you're right... some people won't understand, but others (those who really love you) will go out of their way and out of their comfort zone to help you through it-- even when the truth of your reality hurts them...like Princess Anna! (Oh, you don't get my references?? Grow up and go watch the movie. You're never too old for Disney, dammit!) 

Be accountable to someone! It makes life a million times harder when we try and hide within our "kingdom of isolation." Break free from society's advice to conceal the truth that will set you free...LET IT GO!

I'm not suggesting you share your struggles with the world, especially if you're still struggling with it, but be accountable to someone!

If you've already overcome it, I do think that one person's secret can be another person's freedom. One person's secret can become another person's healing. 

In the meantime, that little girl above-mentioned, you NEED to hear her sing "Let It Go." Even if you just fast forward to the bridge of the song... I promise it will be worth it!

A Relentless Pursuit

I was 15 years old when I walked into El Gran Yo Soy Ministerio/The Great I Am Ministry high with my 'then' boyfriend. No, I'm not saying HI to you. I did, in fact, say that I walked into church high. I remember thinking, in my altered state of mind, that a certain bass player on stage, wearing a yellow button down shirt was quite good looking.

I walked into that small family church, and after an entire year of singing the songs from the projector screen and listening to the pastor yelling in Spanish about something I did not understand, I had a life-changing encounter with Jesus. This post is specific to my "love story" with my hubs, so I will tell you all about my lifestyle change and how I went from a little pothead punk to a Jesus-loving woman in another post.

When I gave my life to Christ, I felt like I had the cure to cancer or something equally incredible. I just had to share my faith with everyone and anyone who would listen. All of my friends in my senior year of High School knew that I had become a completely different person on the inside, although I still looked like a typical NewYorrican teenager on the outside-- with my hair cow-licked to the side, a bun as big as my head, and big door-knocker bamboo earrings. (oh, yes I did!) Anyway, as I shared my faith, my friends became curious about this God that was clearly changing that once angry, rebellious girl into someone completely different...so they started to come to church with me. My youth pastors thought it a wise idea to have this handsome, Jesus-loving, bass playing, pastor's son start a bible study every Friday night in my living room to teach all of these ghetto teenagers that were coming with me more about our faith.

So every Friday, about 20 teenagers crowded into my parent's living room, and we were able to see lives transformed. Our friendship developed into something really constant and pure. Mike has always been the ultimate gentleman. After a few years of hanging out as friends, he began to pursue me further. Although I found him attractive, I made every excuse not to allow myself to feel the emotions that were stirring within me. I couldn't like Mike! He was the pastor's eldest son. He grew up in church, never smoked weed, and never did any of the idiotic things I did as a teen. Every other girl in our youth ministry was obviously a better option. They were all virgins. They were all sweet. They were all worthy of a good man. I, on the other hand, was the girl with the big mouth, strong opinions, and tainted past. I wasn't good enough for him. Or that's what I thought.

I couldn't allow myself to like Mike for other reasons as well. Friendships would be compromised. People wouldn't agree. Although we saw each other four to five times a week, I kept him at arms distance and wouldn't let him break through the wall I had built around my fragile heart.  

My parents and my sister saw something that I refused to see. They HELPED him win my affections. My sister gave him the address to my job and told him what my favorite flowers were. Yellow roses. Just about the only flowers I actually like. I hate flowers. & I sure as hell didn't need a man to buy me any. I could buy my own flowers!

My dad invited him to sleep over our house for the Fourth of July weekend in 2006. Seriously?! That night we had our first kiss... awww sweet right? While it lasted. After that weekend, I ignored him for another 2 years. Not 2 weeks. Not 2 months... TWO YEARS!

The more he pursued me, the more I resisted. The more he insisted, the more I rejected. I wasn't trying to play hard to get, I was seriously battling within myself. All I knew were men who cheated, men who battled with addictions, men who were self seeking, men who wanted nothing deeper than sex. How challenging to think that there was something better out there and that I deserved it?

After years of shutting him down, things started to awaken in me. I started dating this other man who was a genuinely great guy. He wined and dined me, and treated me like I should be treated. When I would hang with that man, all I could think about was Mike. I realized that we developed a friendship that was unmatched during all those Friday night bible studies at my house. 

Mike was the man that watched me grow from the immature little punk into the 'kinda mature' woman I am today. haha. He witnessed the good, the bad, and the ugly in my family, and still loved and accepted me (and them) the way we were... and he shockingly wanted to be around our dysfunction. I could eat in front of him without reservation. I could cry in front of him without embarrassment. I could laugh in front of him without suppressing it. I could be me... completely...and he loved me exactly the way I was --well the way I am-- with my crazy family, my strong character, my big dreams, and all of my faults. He never tried to belittle me, never tried to rush me, and never tried to change me. He empowered me and encouraged me, and I simply wanted to be a better woman whenever I was with him.

He pursued relentlessly... and eventually won my heart.

Now, our relationship is not perfect, by any means. We have hit some roadblocks in our marriage and have had to intentionally work together to work through them. We have had to remind ourselves that love is a commitment beyond feelings. I still expect to be pursued by my husband, and he expects the spontaneous woman he married four years ago.

MEN-- you see a woman you like? Don't expect her to be perfect. Don't expect her to be like your mom. Just love her the way she is. Pursue her. Stop playing these silly little pride games, that you won't text or call her first because you think she should make a move too and show you she cares. Get over yourself. A woman is a prize to be won. Once you have her, don't stop pursuing.The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)

WOMEN-- know your value! Don't settle for less than you deserve, and don't ever think you deserve less than the best. Set your standards high, and DO NOT compromise certain things because you are desperate or lonely. Don't worry about what others will think, but do take into consideration what those closest to you think. They see the bigger picture sometimes. Sometimes our loved ones see unhealthy relationships forming and we get defensive because we are blinded by love. Other times, like in my case, they see what's best for you, when you can't see it for yourself. 

That's all for now. There's so much more to that story, but I tried to condense it as best as I could. Today is our four year anniversary... we are on vacation...and I'm logging out..but first I will leave you with a favorite quote:

We can't live unaffected by love.

We're most alive when we find it,

Most devastated when we lose it,

Most empty when we give up on it,

Most inhumane when we betray it,

& most passionate when we pursue it.

-Erwin Raphael McManus, 'Soul Cravings'

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That... Remind Me Tomorrow

So what if I'm not tech-savvy? I can text. I can google. I can Instagram. I can email. (Not that I'm very good at responding promptly to those emails) I am also NOT a technology enthusiast. If you saw the condition of my iPhone 5, you would be appalled.

When purchasing my laptop, I sought function over frill. I am not easily attracted to new gadgets and stuff... I needed something reliable, something light enough to carry around in my purse, something easy enough to navigate the internet on, something that has enough memory to safeguard the millions of pictures I capture with my shattered iPhone, and a keyboard for me to type up my papers. Well, because of its name and reputation, the Apple store was inevitable... and the Macbook Air was my match.

Here's the thing, Apple in all of its innovative glory, is constantly providing apple product users with the option of software updates. I get it -- making your product better eliminates competition, or at least dulls it. But how annoying is it for me when my laptop prompts me to update my computer all the damn time?

In the upper right corner of my screen, this constantly appears: "Updates Available: Do you want to restart to install these updates now or try tonight?"

It offers the option of 'Restarting the computer' or reminding me to 'Do it LATER.'

No I don't want to restart my computer right now! I'm clearly in the middle of something important or I wouldn't be on this device to begin with! AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! I almost ALWAYS select that little drop down arrow to "Remind Me Tomorrow." I don't want to "Try in an hour" or "Try tonight" because truthfully, I have no intention on doing it until the moment is convenient or until it's absolutely necessary.

I've already shared my disclaimer... I'm not necessarily knowledgeable by any means about computers, but I can make an educated guess that the longer I wait to update my software, the slower my laptop gets. I once went so long without updating, that when I finally did, I had to do it overnight because it was no longer an instantaneous process. The longer I wait, the longer it will take to update. When that "tomorrow" finally becomes "today" there are updates upon updates that need to take place.

This happens often in life, doesn't it? At least, it's happened to me quite a few times.

"Oh, that paper is an easy A.... I'll do it later. Better yet, I'll do it tomorrow!" Then those papers piled up, and I ended up on a trip in the Hamptons making up 6 grad school level papers when I could have been maxin' and relaxin'. You don't do it now, you'll have more to do later. You'll be more overwhelmed and more tired from the more work you've given yourself.

"Oh, I have all day to go to the gym. I'll work out later....I'm tired after this long day. I'll work out tomorrow!" My constant excuse is that I when I actually do work out, I see results fast. The less frequently you work out though, the more weight you'll have to lose, the less muscle strength you'll have, the more painful and strenuous the work out, the more sore you'll be tomorrow... all because you waited until later. All because your tomorrow wasn't today!

"Oh, I'll just take a break from school. I don't need a degree to land my dream job. I'll go back later. I'll apply tomorrow!" The longer you wait to get yourself a piece of paper that says you are educated and qualified, the less opportunities available to you. The more you work, and the less you get paid. The more crap you have to take from people who may be more qualified on paper, but not actually qualified to do the job that needs to be done. The longer you wait, the more you conform... and the less you'll be able to dream of something more for your life.

"Oh, I'll reach out to him one day and work out our issues. Right now I have the right to be angry at what he said to me. I'll forgive him later. I'll do it tomorrow!" We avoid working on strained relationships, live with unforgiveness and unresolved heart issues because it is too painful to deal with now. The more unhealthy our relationships become, the more bad habits are formed, more mistakes are made, and more attitudes rise up. The longer you wait to hash things out with someone, the less character you are able to exhibit when you do, and the more guilt you'll carry in the end. The longer you wait to deal with an issue, the more resentful you feel and the more desensitized you become. 

Here's your reminder: UPDATE NOW...not in an hour, not later, not tomorrow. UPDATE NOW. Don’t wait until you are so deep in your addiction, that it’s harder stop. Don’t wait until the relationship is so unhealthy that you’re accepting abuse before you decide to finally leave. Don't wait until Sunday to pray or seek guidance. Don’t wait until your so invested in that toxic relationship that it becomes harder to resist. Don't wait until so much piles up that you won't even know where to start. 

Don't worry. Don't delay. Don't make excuses. Don't wait until the moment is convenient for you or until it becomes absolutely necessary. Don't wait until the new year to make new resolutions. We are half way through 2014. Let's stop making things harder on ourselves and do what needs to be done today!

"Dad, I want water!"

Is there a childhood story that your parents love to share about you? It's like their default, go-to story whenever they tell anyone about what you were like as a kid. You don't even really remember it, but your mind has webbed together this "memory" based on THEIR recollections? 

Well, my parents love to tell the story of how much I hated going to bed at night as a child. I wasn't scared of the dark or anything... let me just clarify that! I was strong-willed. I was persistent. I was a royal pain-in-the-ass. (Not much has changed, I know) I simply wanted to stay up as long as I possibly could. I would beg them to read stories to me or I'd insist on telling them stories. When that didn't work, I would scream out "Dad, I want water!" Which, of course, he would bring to me...every time! (daddy's girl problems) Apparently, 5 minutes later, I would scream out "Dad, I gotta pee!" 

I mean when my parents tell this story, it cracks them up. They cut each other off and finish each other's sentences whilst sharing. (Insert the 'my-parents-are-annoying Eye Roll' here)

Why did I want to stay up so badly, when I now value every second of my beauty sleep? As I struggle to stay up to finish my papers right now, I wish I were that six year old again. The six year old who did not want to go to sleep because she thought "Today was so great, I don't want it to end!" When I did go to sleep, it was with much reluctance and with much anticipation of the day ahead of me... that was sure to be better than the day before.

Oh, the childlike mentality!

Isn't that the mentality Jesus wanted us to have?

"I’m telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you’re not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like a child, will rank high in God’s kingdom" (Matthew 18:3 MSG).

Kids often try and stay up past their bedtime. They want to tell their daddy a story. They don't hesitate to ask for what they need. They have no worries about disclosing their plans for tomorrow. They are quick to present all of their requests to their father. We should do the same. 

Instead, we multiply our troubles by rehearsing them in our heads at night. We fret about the past and worry about our future. We want today to end in hopes of a better tomorrow. 

Present all of your grievances to your heavenly father tonight, and bask in the excitement that tomorrow is a new day... full of possibility...full of hope...full of wonder!

Weeping may last through the night, 
but joy comes with the morning. 
Psalm 30:5

In peace I will lie down and sleep,

    for you alone, Lord,

    make me dwell in safety. 

Psalm 4:8

Church in the Wild // Church on the Beach: East Hampton's Edition

All photos property of Cosita Studios.

If you can make it through these few short paragraphs, you can enjoy photos of our East Hampton's trip.

When some people think of church, they think of a place where you go to pay some religious dues. A place where people are stoic and bland. Some social club where people have limited abilities to socialize. A place where someone will look at you differently if you look differently.

To me, church isn't a religious duty; it's not a steeple or an altar filled with candles and statues. It's not an Easter Sunday or Christmas Eve ritual, and it's not a chore. Church definitely ain't  a chore.

Church is a gathering of believers with the purpose of encouraging, edifying, and empowering each other. Church is a place where the name of Jesus is lifted up. I attend a church in Manhattan, New York called Hillsong NYC. It has the reputation of being a "cool church" that attracts young adults and has a hipster vibe. Oh, but it's so much more than that! When talking about outsider's perspectives of our church, my friend Hugo so well said, "Oftentimes, other churches and people try to mimic the surface of Hillsong Church but don't quite get the heart of it. The coolness factor is just a bonus. It's the cherry on top of everything." 

Hillsong, as a global church, places value on the importance of loving God, loving people, and loving life. 

Simple enough, huh? Yes, but I've witnessed many Christians who love God, yet don't really know how to LOVE people...and I mean REALLY love people. Or they don't seem to enjoy life. They spend every waking moment within the confines of the four walls of a building, that they miss out on the life that they were given to live abundantly.

In an earlier blog post, I shared that the year Mike and I got married (2010), was one of the most difficult years of my life. In the beginning of 2011, we began attending Hillsong NYC Church and immediately found refuge, and healing, and acceptance, and HOME. 

Over  the last 4 years, I've had the honor and privilege of loving God and loving life alongside some of the most amazing people that are so dang good... at loving people. We went to a couples Connect Group in the UWS of Manhattan weekly from 2011-2013, and built rare and unparalleled relationships with some genuinely incredible people. I've learned more about love and leadership from these people in such a short amount of time than I ever could have elsewhere. 

Last month, five of us couples decided to enjoy a weekend getaway in East Hampton. 

(in no way was this trip endorsed by our church. It was merely a family/friend vacay)

We entertained ourselves through some competitive game nights.

We took some time to encourage one another and share with this wonderful family how much their leadership has impacted us all.

Some of the best moments were family meal times. 

The 10 (& a half) of us sitting around that table meant for 6... 

...eating...drinking...laughing...crying...praying...laughing some more...

During breakfast...

lunch...

& dinner!

Fun fact about me: The beach is my very favorite place in the entire world.

S I S T E R H O O D
How refreshing it is to have female relationships that aren't catty or plagued with gossip & jealousy! My friends are all women who are wise & beautiful & encouraging & selfless & talented & intelligent & I could go on forever...

& I feel I should note how much I love each one of these guys like the brothers I never had. They each exemplify Jesus in the way they communicate with their wives, the way they communicate with each other, and even the way they communicate with other women. If only more men were like this bunch... 

(too bad they're all taken)

Lastly, a weekend away was just what we needed to take a break from work & grad school & every day routines to not only enjoy time with our friends, but enjoy time with  each other! I'm learning how important it is to prioritize your marriage. It is work, but you reap the greatest rewards when you do. Life is just that much sweeter when you really enjoy the person you sleep next to every night!

Can I encourage you for a second? If you're not planted in a healthy local church, and you are not building relationships with people who are challenging you and inspiring to grow in every area of your life, and you don't know the fullness of joy that is in Jesus...I encourage you to find a church! 

The last thing church is not...church ain't boring y'all! 

& if you don't know, now you know...

#finishthatbasement

"Our singular, all-consuming passion is to build God's Church and Kingdom on the earth, and see everyday people released into their purpose and calling. We believe in people - we believe in their potential and we believe in their amazing capacity to influence the world with good." 

-Brian & Bobbie Houston (Senior Pastors of Hillsong Church)