LET IT GO!

So my blog is called Naked & Not Ashamed. What a title to live up to! How I would love to eventually get to the point where I can actually share all of the things that people are scared to talk about! It's not exactly what we are taught though. You're struggling with something?? Don't tell anyone! It will put you to shame if you do. It will put your family to shame. It will destroy you and your reputation. People will judge you. People will use it against you. Let's be real though, there's nothing new under the sun. More often than not, you are NOT the only one!

Yet despite how hard we try to conceal our pain, or our sin, and even our gifts, it almost always has a way of coming to light...even when you get away with hiding it for years. (like Queen Elsa from the movie 'Frozen', for instance)

I know what you're thinking-- WHAT?! I recently spent a week with a four year old girl who was insistent on watching Frozen every night before bed, every morning before school, listening to the soundtrack EVERY time we got into the car...on repeat. I now find myself singing "Let It Go" when I wake up, when I go to sleep, on my way to work, in my dreams... & here's the part I always sing:

"Couldn't keep it in-- Heaven knows I've tried.

Don't let them in, don't let them see.

Be the good girl you always have to be.

Conceal- don't feel, don't let them know!

Well now they know!

Let it Go!"

I'd like to think I am quite transparent. I'm usually okay with sharing my past struggles, especially with my students. I feel like people can relate more when you're vulnerable than when you put on a mask and pretend you're perfect... & I'm FAR from perfect. I have a BIG mouth, for one. I usually say exactly what I'm thinking without much of a filter or I say too much, which has gotten me into loads of trouble throughout my life. 

It is hard to be Naked & Not Ashamed and say what I want to say on a public forum though. It is hard for me because talking about my defining moments and personal experiences means sharing about other people as well. How do I become Naked & Not Ashamed without putting other people to shame? How do I talk about ME without talking about the people around me and how their lives have shaped mine? I guess eventually I'll get there... with wisdom, of course.

For now I want to encourage you to find the people in your life that you can confess to & work through your struggles with before it comes to light on its own. We can hide all we like, but when things do come to light-- you're right... some people won't understand, but others (those who really love you) will go out of their way and out of their comfort zone to help you through it-- even when the truth of your reality hurts them...like Princess Anna! (Oh, you don't get my references?? Grow up and go watch the movie. You're never too old for Disney, dammit!) 

Be accountable to someone! It makes life a million times harder when we try and hide within our "kingdom of isolation." Break free from society's advice to conceal the truth that will set you free...LET IT GO!

I'm not suggesting you share your struggles with the world, especially if you're still struggling with it, but be accountable to someone!

If you've already overcome it, I do think that one person's secret can be another person's freedom. One person's secret can become another person's healing. 

In the meantime, that little girl above-mentioned, you NEED to hear her sing "Let It Go." Even if you just fast forward to the bridge of the song... I promise it will be worth it!

Naked & Not Ashamed

In August of 2010, I had this idea that I would begin blogging and share with the world-- or whoever would read --the lessons I learned from my trivial day-to-day life experiences. I'd been a month into my marriage then, and what was supposed to be the most joyful time of my life, happened to be one of the most difficult seasons I've experienced. Not the marriage part, per se, but life in general. From the experience of a grievous loss and family tragedy, to relationships that were painfully severed, to the division of people I loved most, the violation of trust, the sting of betrayal and broken promises, and an extremely broken heart... It was then that I completely stopped writing for leisure. (Man, I sound depressing!) I admit, it was the only time in my entire life that I experienced that thing called 'depression' -- that feeling that I was completely alone, suffocating, stuck in a deep darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel. Fortunately, and pretty quickly, there was a light at the end of that tunnel. I am happy to say that with the support, prayers and encouragement of loved ones, I was able to drag myself out of that funk within a few short months, and learned heaps of invaluable lessons as a result of all of the experiences I endured. Lessons that -- in retrospect -- I wish I would have recorded then. There's nothing more life-changing than the power of a story!

The name of this blog is Naked & Not Ashamed. The thought came from Genesis 2:25, where it talks about Adam & Eve being naked and unashamed before they sinned against God. Genesis 3:7 goes on to share that after they pretty much screwed up, "the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves." How often do we make coverings for ourselves, with our own feeble attempts to hide from God and each other because we are worried about what people would think if they really knew what we were thinking... or feeling... or doing? Oh, but there's nothing really new under the sun, is there? We've all heard that saying 'been there, done that' when we share our 'supposedly' scandalous experiences with someone older and wiser. Yet, we are all doing our very best to cover our asses, to pretend all is perfect, upkeep our social network masquerades, and walk around like we have it all together. 

Truth is, I'm not perfect. (Hard to believe, right?) I make mistakes...often. I find myself in situations where I still walk around with guilt on my conscience, trying to make restitution for my wrong-doings or -sayings (usually -sayings... I've got a big mouth sometimes). It's when I share these things with those trusted few in my life, that I am reminded that my feelings are normal, that the struggle is real, and I'm not the only one going through things. Jesus died a very public death so that my shame could be covered...there's nothing left for me to hide. So here I am, almost 4 years after I created this blog, picking up where I left off; attempting to strip all superficiality and share my story -- as it happens -- as openly and honestly as possible... (not that you guys are about to get a play-by-play of my life or anything; this is a blog, not a journal) ...with the hopes that maybe my transparency and the trivial day-to-day lessons I learn along the way will make your challenges less challenging or your story a bit more relatable.