Running on "E"

My heart was beating more than just a few beats faster per minute than usual. The light in front of me was blinking, and my sweaty palms gripped the steering wheel tighter every time I heard the beeping sound that heeded warning.  I'm usually quite the risk-taker... though my risks are often very calculated. I knew that with a little less than an eighth of a tank of gas remaining, I would make it through my daily route across the Whitestone bridge to the gas station nearest my job.

What I did not factor into my "risk-taking calculator" was the possibility of traffic because it’s unusual for there to be any during the time that I leave for work.

As my luck would have it, there was an accident up ahead, and I hit bumper-to-bumper traffic. I instantly regretted making the decision to push the limits. I was running on E, and I wasn't sure how much fuel I had left to make it to my destination.

As I sat anxiously in traffic, I thought about how I have made decisions that have pushed the limits of compromise. I have done and said things that compromised my integrity, my relationships, and my reputation.

Although we know deep down in our hearts right from wrong, we’ve pulled out our "risk-taking calculator" at one time or another, and thought to ourselves something along the lines of: 

How much can I do without my parents finding out?

How much can I get away with before I get in trouble? 

How much can I say before it becomes inappropriate?

How much can I drink before it becomes sinful?

How much can I do without actually having sex before marriage?
How far can I go before my poor decisions backfire, and I'm left stuck in the middle of traffic?

You can make it on an eighth of a tank... until you hit traffic. You can make it through that compromising situation... until the unexpected occurs. Let's be real, even if you have made it this far, don't be stupid! Don't keep testing those limits, no matter how tempting! Don't keep compromising because you think you have just enough strength to stop right before you really screw yourself up. If I repeatedly tried to drive on an empty tank, even if I don't break down, I will eventually ruin my car like that! Even if you haven't gotten caught, or you haven't felt the repercussions of your mistakes yet, you will eventually ruin your life like that!

There is a real tension that you experience when you're running on "spiritual E." You know what you're doing is wrong, and you are aware of the possible consequences, but you still do it. I know this feeling, and it's not uncommon to man. Even Paul transparently shared, "I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't DO it. I decide to do good, but I don't REALLY do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time (Rom 7:18-20)." 

There's HOPE! His love and grace won't run out on you. We’re going to have our moments of weakness. Allow Him who began a good work in you to continue to develop you. After Paul admits to his shortcomings, he asks, "I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope! ["I'm running on E"] Is there no one that can do anything for me? (Rom 7:24)"

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life on contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different (Rom 7:25).

Why continue to play with the possibilities and compromise, when there's security and peace and confidence in running on a FULL tank? It's better for you to do everything you can to REFUEL!

How do you refuel, you ask? This is all I've got for you...

God promise to you is this..."I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out-- plans to take care of you, not to abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, WHEN YOU GET SERIOUS ABOUT FINDING ME and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED.... I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back...you can count on it! (Jer 29:11-14)"